Fearless Space

Henri Nouwen - he seems to have been given deep insight into the mystery of Christ:

“God alone is free enough from wounds to offer us a fearless space.”

...perfect love casts out all fear....

CRM Communitas - check out this video

What is God doing in Church Resource Ministries - here is one example ina 4 minute clip about the new ministry I'm a part of.

A Blessed Beggar

Enjoying Margaret Becker's "Just Come In" CD...
My favorite line that makes me worship:

"Like a beggar blessed, I stumble into grace….
reaching out my hand for what awaits…"

He is good

www.paulagamble.com

NEW Paula CD - almost here!!!

That's right - I just finished recording 11 songs...and am in the final process of preparing them for distribution. For sound samples go to my website www.paulagamble.com

And please let me know what you think!

Over the next month or so I'll post blogs on the stories/thoughts behind the songs...just in case you're interested.

Blessings & Joy!
~pg

First Magazine article published

I am laughing...laughing...laughing. It is fitting that this world traveler's very first in print ,published magazine article is in a language that I cannot read... German. A new and wonderful friend, Elizabeth Mittelstaedt, the editor of the Christian Women's magazine asked me to write about my adoption. For those of you who want to freshen up on your German skills, you can view part of it online at http://www.lydia.net/aktuelle_ausgabe/artikel3.html

Where I've been lately

Trapped in my music room - trying to crank out some new tunes! I love creating...maybe i'll post a blip somewhere soon...
back to my hermit hole.

www.paulagamble.com

Revival Coming to PDX?

This week a church in B’ton named, Solid Rock Fellowship, has held a week of fasting and prayer for revival. Each morning, about 100-150 people have shown up from 6:30 to 7:30 to pray…I joined them on 2 different mornings and it was really wonderful. On Sat, May 12th, they prayed together from 9-10 a.m. on top of Council Crest – there is a plaque a top the hill that shares how 30 Christian ministers took a 2 hour six horse carriage ride from Portland atop the hill in 1898 to pray over the city. History reveals that in 1905 - there was a revival in Portland. (Click here to read more about the 1905 revival.)

I joined with Solid Rock Fellowship’s prayer (day 6) atop Council Crest on Sat morning – once again over 150 people (mostly in their 20's) praying for revival for the Portland area. During the time a Chinese evangelist named Brother Yun (You can read his amazing story in the book, “The Heavenly Man”) shared that he believed revival was coming to Portland…

Then a gal named Brooke shared that a year ago she was living in Texas and asked God to send her to be a part of a revival in America. He told her to move to Portland.

On Friday night my friend Kathryn and I met another young gal (19) who said that she prayed and asked God for where to go to have impact in his kingdom – he sent her here…she’s from South Africa.

After the prayer time on Sat morning, some of the gals went downtown for coffee and to pray some more. They passed a group of African American men singing about Jesus on 10th and Yamhill and stopped to inquire about who they were, if they could pray for/with them, and why they were there. The men said that God put on their heart that he was starting a revival…and so in obedience they went to the street corners to pave the way with singing.

Dear brothers and sisters – something is afoot – let’s not miss it!



Love to you all

~paula

A New Hero

One of the greatest privileges I had in India was meeting a woman named "A". She is the only female pastor (out of about 25 pastors) who oversee about 3000 believers in the Minjur area of India. It was a privilege to be able to meet her and to be able to preach in her church on Sunday morning.

As the story unfolded, I found out from others that "A" has been arrested before...and no doubt she has had a difficult time being a woman pastor in a society that, as another male pastor jokingly said to me, "has only two castes: Male and Female."

I asked "A" what made her step out 7 years ago to start some churches?

"It was on my heart to do and I could not not do it. I had to do what God had put on my heart."

A didn't tell me this, but my translator interjected, "Yes, Pastor A, has about 600 believers in her church. They meet in multiple locations because there is no place large enough for them all to gather."

Quickly in my mind, I'm doing the math. "There's only 3000 believers among a population of 500,000 - and A pastors 600. That means 1/5 of them are under her shepherding. Wow! Seven years ago she started her church by sharing Jesus - seven years later, she has 600 people - 99% new converts!

Being a woman in ministry myself, and knowing that it is sometimes difficult to navigate and operate in a "married man's" world, I asked A, "How do you keep going in the midst of a culture that doesn't really accept female leadership?"

If she would have asked me this question, I would have given her a piece of my mind - how I'd been wounded, what I'd do differently, etc.

But A only had 2 words for me. She looked up heavenward, raised her right hand and pointed up, "Jesus leads!"

That's it.

Sermon over...two words that if all of us would take to heart and live by day to day would most likely revolutionize our lives, our ministries and the world.

Stripped to be Adorned

One of the things I like about being in India is wearing the traditional sari - 6 yards of brilliantly colored fabric draped around the body, pleated and pinned over the left shoulder. I never feel more beautiful nor feminine than when I am wearing a sari. There is only one problem - I cannot dress myself in a sari.

Thankfully, there are all too many eager Indian women who are willing to help and before the second day of the women's conference I recruited just such a volunteer. As we were walking to a room where she could dress me, she matter-of-factly stated, "I have another fat friend like you who couldn't make a blouse out of this fabric..."

Ouch - that sort of stung. She went on talking about her friend, but I didn't hear what she was saying because I was so surprised by this seeming dig.

Once we got into the room and she said, "If I knew you were going to wear a sari, I would have brought you a more beautiful one."

Ouch - once again, my heart deflated. Here I was, half way around the world to teach the Bible to these women, and I felt stripped of all beauty. I was going to stand in front of these women as a fat lady with a grievous fashion faux paus.

Even more interesting - the very message I was delivering that day was that the fallen beautiful one (satan) wants to steal our attempts as women to bringing beauty into the world. These "attacks" (though not meant as attacks from this woman) were so obviously connected and smacked of the fallen beautiful one trying to steal this messenger and her message.

Dressed in my "so-so" sari, I shuffled across the dirt courtyard to the church building where I was supposed to speak at 9:30...and I sat there. Sat and sat - one hour passed...then two. Various people got up to sing, pray and utter a lot of words in a language I couldn't understand. I felt like I was sitting at an "open mic" night.

As the minutes ticked away, I was getting so angry. I was eager to share the word of God...but I just sat. Then they brought tea and cookies - which delayed my teaching time yet another half hour. I was so frustrated and discouraged - one of those "I don't like this culture anymore" days. I had words of life to hold out to these women...and yet there were these ongoing stabs at my heart and delays for me being able to teach.

Finally - I got up to teach. I shared my testimony - how I was conceived in rape and in the eyes of God wasn't a mistake. And throughout the morning I shared how none of us are mistakes - and that we are all "raja kumari" (princesses in Tamil - literally King's daughters). I had the women turn to one another and introduce themselves, "Hello, my name is Paula Raja Kumari." (and the whole rest of the week the gals would come up to me and call me Paula Raja Kumari and then tell me their name, like, Bardi Raja Kumari. I said that God chose us to be royalty - so that we could declare His excellencies (1 Peter 2:10) and so that we could bring beauty and light to the broken places in our worlds. "But," I said, "This beauty will be opposed by the fallen beautiful one." For the one hour (out of 4) that I got to teach, I poured my heart out - and it felt good to finally proclaim the truth.

Upon finishing, my translator turns to me and says, "I cannot believe that you shared that story: I was born of rape too and was struggling with the meaning of my life. It was so oddly wonderful to have you be speaking directly to me...and then me having to process it, turn it around and translate it. I cannot tell you how powerful your words were today. Thank you so much - this was a message that we women in India needed to hear."

Words cannot describe the heart connection and gratitude I had with dear Beulah. God sent the perfect translator - not only to be ministered to, but also to transmit this God-given message to the other women present.

I handed her a small gift - 2 bottles of perfumed lotions, and she said, "Oh, I wish I had something for you."

"No need - it is not necessary. I just wanted to thank you for translating," I replied.

"Well, I want to thank you for teaching," she said.

Just then her 11 year old daughter, Mishal, walked up. "That's my middle name," I said joyfully.
Beulah replied, "Well, we will always remember to pray for you then...as we have a daily reminder."

I noticed a strand of pearls on Mishal's neck. "Those are beautiful," I said.

"Then you must have them," said Beulah as she reached to take them off of Mishal and put on my neck.



A floodgate of emotion burst out - I'm sure no Indian woman has ever seen a Western woman nor a "respected" teacher cry like that. I didn't even know all that emotion was in there. But after being stripped of my sense of beauty prior to the talk (on beauty), waiting over 2.5 hours for my chance to finally teach, AND seeing that it was not all for naught AND having this divine connection with my translator, I could only weep at God's generosity. As I retold the story to my teammates on the van ride home that night, Mike Parker got his big dimpled smile on his face and said, "Princess Paula, you were stripped, so that you could be adorned."

And that was the stunning beauty of the Lord on Saturday - letting me live the message I was to preach...letting me experience how the stripping leads (and will eventually lead) to full adornment.

Comic Foreign Signage

Hmmm...they keep using this word. I do not think it means what they think it means.

Power Outages, Fireworks & Midnight Prayers

Before heading to Minjur, India, we knew there'd be opposition. First, within this area of half a million people, there are only 3000 known followers of Jesus Christ. Second, in Minjur, there is a temple to Shiva (the Hindu god of destruction). Third, the field we were using for our festival outreach, belonged to a local Hindu high school. Going in, the deck seemed stacked against us.

On Wednesday evening, we were to go to the field to pray over it and dedicate it to the Lord. Due to the outbursts and disruptions caused by teenage boys playing soccer on the field, that night of prayer was canceled. Rumor was, we were not even sure we could use the field on the rest of the week.

The local pastors prayed and fasted...and "in the 9th hour" we got permission for the field on Thursday (but not until that day about noon). The stage, sound and lighting was to have been set up 2 weeks prior - and because of all the opposition, it was not allowed to be assembled, until the day of the first night of the Festival.

Power Outages

We left our "resting" house, and wound through the very active evening life of town. Cows wandering about while dogs and goats scrounged through the immense amounts of garbage on the side of the road. Autorickshaws, bicycles (with 12 dozen crates of eggs stacked on the back), scooters (carrying families of 4), bullock carts and cars dodging one another in complete disarray that has a strange rhythm to it.

There were mostly men out in the intersections - grabbing local snacks, and hanging out in the streets. Most of their foreheads colored with various Hindu markings. The women who were out were carrying heavy loads - sometimes atop their heads or gathered up in their arms.

When we arrived (about an hour into the preliminaries - once again, they waited to bring us until there was a more significant crowd) we were glad to see the field lighted and amplified. A somewhat saggy stage was assembled - but it was sufficient.

After we all gave a short greeting, I sang a song, and then started to give my testimony. When I got to the part about sharing about how I invited Jesus Christ, who died on a cross and rose again to forgive my sins, into my life - the power went out. I wasn't surprised at all, actually, and think I even laughed under my breath, "So this is how the enemy is going to try to interfere. Sorry, Light of the World - time for you to shine!"

The power stayed out...five minutes, ten minutes...I watched young men scramble back and forth across the field. They were running toward the bus off to the side which seemed to be what was powering the event. About ten minutes into the wait, the pastors on the stage - from about 10 different denominations, gathered at the front and held hands. They began singing together and praising God. Their praises were so beautiful - their show of unity powerful.

Though it seemed like the event was thwarted, the stance of these pastors, who had never before worked in a unified fashion, was the beauty and light that brought light into the darkness that night. After about 20 -25 minutes or so of power outage, the lights came back on and the festival continued. The One True God - the light of the world - would not be thwarted!

Fireworks
The next day, we were informed that some local Hindus complained about our gathering. They went to the superintendent at the school and asked him to stop the festival. The superintendent, under great pressure to succumb to the local Hindu ruckus, nevertheless decided to grant us permission. He told the local pastors that Mike must not speak against Hinduism or idols. No problem - who needs to speak about lesser gods when the One True God's love and forgiveness is so ravishing? Mike just preached Jesus Christ crucified. But the entire time during his preaching that night, there were fireworks exploding just beyond the opposite end of the field. They continued and continued ... it seemed so obvious an attempt to distract the crowd. When Mike gave the invitation to receive Jesus Christ...the fireworks mysteriously stopped.

Midnight Prayers
There continued to be opposition of sorts - each day there was a new threat that the festival would be shut down. In addition, the lead pastor organizing the event was in a motorcycle accident, and several of us on the team sensed spiritual struggle from time to time. On Saturday night, however, we sensed a tremendous spiritual breakthrough...we all felt it...we felt that whatever evil spirits were "resident" in that Hindu space were stomped on. That night many more people seemed touched by and responded to the gospel message.

What is always interesting to me, is that when I get home from a missions trip, some of the people who have been praying share how God prompted them to pray during the week. So I was completely humbled and unsurprised, upon hearing one friend say, "God would not let me sleep - and I was up till the wee hours of the morning praying. I could not not pray."

How remarkable to note that those wee-hours-of-the-morning prayers were obviously the first line of prayer defense all week. When some of you were praying at 3, 4, 5 in the morning, 13 1/2 hours ahead of the West Coast, was the time when the permission for using the field was being argued about. Who knows how we were carried forth on these midnight prayers...

Rumba nundre (Thank you so much) for your prayers!
Karther periaver (God is Great!)

Biriyani for the Soul

The day after arriving in Chennai, I had my first opportunity to teach at the 2 day women's conference. It was interesting - the conference was supposed to start at 9:30 a.m. ...I was not even brought to the church until around 11:15. Evidently the crowds were not large enough yet...and they wanted more women to come before they let me teach.

This disturbed my soul...I will teach to one or one thousand (and probably prefer the 1). With my time cut drastically short, I taught the lesson that has so ravished and beckoned my heart to kneel in awe and abandon lesser loves: The God who created the universe, who calls all the stars by name and who is exalted above all things stooped down to the likes of me. For women who live in not only a caste system of different socioeconomic and spiritual levels, but also a caste system of gender (male & female, the latter being the lower caste - btw, this was told to me in the form of a joke by a male national pastor..."you know there are really only 2 castes in India - male and female"), this was a vital and necessary truth to be proclaimed and prayerfully, embraced.

I wanted these women to know that there was a God who (Exodus 3) heard their cries, saw their misery, was concerned and came down. I wanted them to know that there is a God who sees, and hears, and knows and cares...they are noticed by the King of kings...they are not abandoned, nor forgotten, nor lesser in any way.

Upon finishing my teaching, a pastor's wife got up and enthusiastically said, "Thank you, Paula Sister, for giving us Biriyani for our souls..."

That was a new one...I'd never been compared to a spicy, rice dish! As my translator leaned over to expound on the cultural context of this comment, she said that Biriyani is the choicest of foods for the Indian - served at wedding feasts and special celebrations: "It is the very best food in India!"

I could only thank God for the privilege.

One of my missionary heroes and profs, Dr. Mary Wilder, has defined missions as "One beggar showing another beggar where to find bread."

What a privilege to be in India as a beggar sharing bread...no wait...Biriyani...with some other beggars.

www.paulagamble.com

Nicole Kidman describes the gist of Christianity without knowing it

Last night I watched the Oprah Winfrey Oscar special...and during part of the time, friends and actors Russell Crowe & Nicole Kidman interviewed one another.

Kidman asked Crowe, "Do you prefer loving or being loved?"
Squirm, squirm...He said something like: "I prefer loving...it is easier. I am horrible at receiving gifts, I'd rather give them."

When Crowe said he was so very intrigued by that question, he returned the question to Kidman. She, after also squirming uncomfortably in her chair, replied something like: "I prefer loving because it's easier than letting myself be loved. It's hard to receive love when you feel so undeserving and unworthy of it. It's the hardest thing in the world."

BINGO - she just described grace - she just nailed humanity's plight and even her superstardom status, riches, fame and comforts cannot alleviate her need to let herself be loved though unworthy.

This is why so many do not understand the basis of Christianity...we have nothing to give...and unless we open our hands to receive His undeserved pardon and free gift of salvation, eternal life and forgiveness, we are not truly living in the Love of God. AND we are miserable, wandering, protective, alone.

I hope and pray, that this "aha" will penetrate deeply and open her up to receiving the ultimate Lover's love.

"Our Lord wants you to become mature,
and maturity needs these periods
of obscurity, disillusionment and boredom.
Maturity comes when we have at last realized
that we must love our Lord simply and freely
in spite of our horrible unworthiness..."
(Abbe de Tourville 1842-1903 - in Letters of Direction)

www.paulagamble.com

What Makes a doubter become a martyr?

One of the interesting places we got to visit on this trip to India, was St. Thomas' mount. It is a small hill, where it is said that Doubting Thomas was martyred. Thomas arrived in southern India in A.D. 52 and was martyred with a lance through his back, while in prayer (in A.D. 72). The striking image is in the entrance to the small church on the top of the hill. On the left side is a caricature of Thomas reaching up his hands toward the scars in Jesus' hands and sides. On the other, Thomas is kneeling in prayer with a lance about to be speared through his back.

What makes a doubter become a martyr?
What makes a doubter travel over 3000 miles from home, to a completely foreign land to tell the good news about the scarred risen Savior?

The one who asked, "Lord, how will we know the way?" (John 14) now knows for sure that Jesus is indeed, the way, the truth and the life (John 14:6)

Maybe Doubt isn't such a bad thing...

Coincidently, I find it ironic that the following sign was stationed near the entrance to the Mount:

Blessed = "Expanded & Filled"

I heard that the root of the word, "Blessed" is macro. So when one reads "Blessed" it is equivalent to saying "expanded and filled."

Ps. 84:
[Expanded and filled] are those who dwell in your house...they are every praising you.
[Expanded and filled] are those whose strength is in God...who have their hearts set on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baca, [they are stretched]. And yet, they make it a place of springs.
(i.e. the redemptive nature of the tears that come from weeping.)

Oh that our valleys would expand us. God's mercy in the midst is not just to expand us - but to also fill us.

www.paulagamble.com

Universe Disturbers

Madaleine L'Engle writes:

“Do I dare disturb the universe?…It’s a question we are not usually encouraged to ask, or to attempt to answer, particularly in various institutions. Especially not in the church. If we disturb the universe, no matter how lovingly, we’re likely to get hurt. Nobody ever promised universe-disturbers (u-ds) an easy time of it. U-ds make waves, rock boat, upset establishments. Jesus was a great U-D, so upsetting the establishment of his day that they put him on a cross, hoping to finish him off. Those of us who try to follow His way have a choice, either go with him as U-ds or play it safe. Playing it safe ultimately leads to personal diminishment and death.

“If we want to play it safe, we have little to settle for comfortable religion, one which will not permit questions, because questions are u-ds. If we don’t allow questions we can fool ourselves into thinking that we are capable of defining God.

“We live in an open, interactive, creative universe, and to try to close it into a safe little system is a danger to ourselves and a danger to everyone we touch.”

Madeleine L’Engle in the Genesis Trilogy p 255-256

My commentary (actually written in 2002 from my journal)

To limit something to just one way (except for the 'one way' to the Father through Jesus) seems restrictive and institutional. A bare linoleum hallway that reeks of antiseptic and is dimly lit by flickering flourescents with gold vinyl chairs lining the sides.
No - give me a hallway filled with stained glass and great art, wall sconces and chandeliers. Give me an Italian tiled floor and mosaics.
Why we choose the antiseptic hallway is a mystery. Why our propensity for a safe, predictable, easier to clean, time-saving religion has become predominate...oh we are missing the intimacy, beauty and adventure of our Preposterous Shepherd King.

www.paulagamble.com

Generation Next - Coming on PBS

Saw this on a web clip - sounds interesting for those of us working with and/or are Generation Next...

www.paulagamble.com

New Song lyrics - Please Hold me

Please Hold Me

Hear my cry O Intimate One
Defender of the weak, come make me strong
I reach out to touch Your scars
Now I know You understand

So I reach for Your mercy
As I kneel at Your throne of Grace
And I, I need Your healing
So I lay my head on Your chest
So I lay my head on Your chest

||: Please Hold me...please Hold me...and love me....please free me...:||

Words by Paula Gamble copyright 2006 IseetheKing Music

www.paulagamble.com

What is America Coming to?

Oh my, what are we to do with this? More people probably care about the O'Donnell/Donald feud than the war in Iraq. Sometimes I think we are a pitiful nation. But in the meantime, have fun playing the game.

www.paulagamble.com

It's still raining in Oregon

I'm ready for spring....so is this reporter!