Unsolved heart questions

Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart, Try to love the questions themselves...do not look for answers...
at present you need to live the question..." Rainer Maria Rilke

Lately, I've had trouble living the questions -and I've had a lot of them: About God and how He works; about me, and how I can live better; about our world - why there is so much woundedness and pain. In my quest to find answers, I've expended a whole bunch of energy trying to figure "it" out ("it" translated as whatever I think "it" should be). Most times I discover that the "it" I am trying to figure out has little to do with God's heart and intention. More often than not, I realize that I am looking for answers so that I can be comforted, feel secure, affirmed and assured that I'm doing "it" (again - whatever "it" is) well.

When I become tired of expending so much energy in what seems fruitless (figuring "it" out - or thinking I have, only to discover that the "it" I've surmised, defined and figured out did not truly solve my deepest heart need), I turn to diversions - I make assumptions, presumptions and rationalizations while trying to define and dictate what I think will be pleasing to God. But it is my limited finite solution that remains limited and finite. Or if that fails, I just get busy so that I don't have to face the inadequacies of my heart full of unanswered questions.

Another human struggling with unanswered heart questions wrote:

"Above all, trust the slow work of God. We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay. We should like to skip the intermediate stages. We are impatient of being on the way
to something unknown, something new... Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming within you will be. Give our Lord the benefit of believing that His hand is leading you, and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
in suspense and incomplete."

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

• What are some of your unsolved heart questions that you are living?

• What are you feeling in suspense about - what are questions that you cannot answer in your life?

• What feels incomplete?
• Do you think that your longing for answers is an important part of "living the questions"?
  

• Offer your unsolved heart questions and "in-suspense-ness" to the I Am - rest in His infinite, perfect and loving heart for you.
  

Incidentally, we weren't meant to figure "it" out because life is not an impersonal strategic action plan that we can organize and streamline with time-saving gadgets. Life is relational - inaugurated by the Great I Am - not an impersonal and innocuous "it."

Living the question is hard work...it is good work because we walk WITH Another who gently leads and liberates us (vs. gives us knowledge and answers and strategies for living).

www.paulagamble.com

Resting Between His Shoulders

What do you love most about this picture?


I love the face of the mama who has great delight in her baby, who is completely at rest between her mama's shoulders. My friend Ashley shared this verse with me a few weeks ago and I have been astounded by it:

"Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him
for He shields him all day long;
and the one the Lord loves rests between His shoulders"
Deut 33:12

Beloved;
rest secure
shields,
rests...
ahhhh

Then I shared it with another friend, Jeremy, in prayer. It brought tears to his eyes as he recounted his own musings and meditations on that very verse over the past few weeks.

Then I lunched with Robin - shared it with her as an invitation to continue to rest securely in the midst of much chaos. Later that day she saw the picture above on a friend's facebook page - the baby's name is Princess and what is she doing?
Yup -
Cool.
Seems like a pretty cool invitation - one I need to continue heeding - believing that Papa delights in (and yes, is especially fond) of such moments.
Rest between His shoulders - beloved - rest securely...


www.paulagamble.com

Spreading the laundry love - Love this!

Some fellow CRM staff in Phoenix are spreading the Love of God through laundry! Check this out - so creative and good!


www.paulagamble.com

Nobody or Somebody?

Clinging to God in Solitude
"When we enter into solitude to be with God alone, we quickly discover how dependent we are. Without the many distractions fo our daily lives, we feel anxious and tense. When nobody speaks to us, calls on us, or needs our help, we start feeling like nobodies. Then we begin wondering whether we are useful, valuable, and significant. Our tendency is to leave this fearful solitude quickly and get busy again to reassure ourselves that we are "somebodies." But that is a temptation, because what makes us somebodies is not other people's responses to us but God's eternal love for us.

To claim the truth of ourselves we have to cling to our God in solitude as the One who makes us who we are."

From Henri Nouwen society - www.henrinouwen.org

For Better or Worse...

"The Parable of the Weeds Among the Wheat"

Artist: Scott Freeman

My team and I are reading a book called, Weeds Among the Wheat by Thomas Green. This morning I read of how times of desolation are like "worse" part of the marriage vow of "for better or worse." Most times, if the partners stay true to the relationship, without trying to get something out of the other, the "worse" makes the "better" better - even with God. Both seasons are necessary gifts to both reveal and strengthen our love.

In the midst of some of my own sense of desolation lately, this gives me courage and hope. There is a refining happening that will not only purify my heart, but also "fuse me" to the love of Jesus Christ. He is not fixing me...he is loving me...and it is strangely miserable and wonderful. Eager to see how this "worse" will make the "better" better.

www.paulagamble.com

Tears create a place of welcome...

"You keep track of all my sorrows;
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book."
~Psalm 56:8

The Tears of the Father

The father in the story of the prodigal son suffered much. He saw his younger son leave, knowing the disappointments, rejections and abuses facing him. He saw his older son become angry and bitter, and was unable to offer him affection and support. A large part of the father's life has been waiting. He could not force his younger son to come home or his older son to let go of his resentments. Only they themselves could take the initiative to return.

During these long years of waiting the father cried many tears and died many deaths. He was emptied out by suffering. But that emptiness had created a place of welcome for his sons when the time of their return came. We are called to become like that father."

Henri Nouwen-Bread for the Journey

+++++

What makes your heart ache? What has brought tears? Could you possibly believe that the One who is acquainted with sorrows and griefs is fully aware and doing a deeper work in you than you can imagine, or even manufacture, for yourself? Today, take hope that any emptying in you will lead to a spacious place of welcome - both for God and others. As Augustine said, "God gives where he finds empty hands."

This desert/Valley of Achor will lead to a door of hope (Hosea 2:14-15)

Oh Lord, help me today to receive

this emptying

with hope that you alone

could turn it into a spacious place -

a place of welcome,

perhaps even celebration.

Gift me, please, with a sense of your nearness

as the Suffering Servant; Suffering Father; Suffering Spirit.

~Amen

www.paulagamble.com

What caught my attention in the woods

Today I started the day off right - out in the woods. Early, quiet, a rich treat for eyes, ears and nose. As the sun was streaming in, it highlighted several spider webs - so amazingly beautiful, delicate and only visible when the sun would "backlight" them. (Hence the constant running into non back-lit webs across the path - not so pleasant!)

Indeed, much of deep soul stuff is lived "unnoticed" and hidden - until a light shines in and illuminates what is there. Without the light, we walking into the annoying webs unaware. With the light, we can appreciate their beauty - and avoid the sticky mess resulting from collision.

May I be content to be hidden unawares,
until God's light shows forth my beauty.

www.paulagamble.com