Reservoir vs. canal

Bernard of Clairvaux said this nearly 1000 years ago...a good word for our century as well:

“If then you are wise, you will show yourself rather as a reservoir
than as a canal. For a canal spreads abroad water as it receives it,
but a reservoir waits until it is filled before overflowing,
and thus communicates, without loss to itself,
its superabundant water.
In the church at the present day (1100s),
we have many canals, few reservoirs.”

(in Richard Foster, Prayer, 168).

When I come to God only because I have a Bible study to teach, worship to lead or a small group I'm expected to participate in and have answers for, God becomes a means to an end, rather than the end. It is so subtle, but it is a way of using God for what I want and need - quite often according to my agenda and my own definitions of what I think is spiritual. Operating this way over time leads to a weary depletion and dissatisfaction. I know...I've lived such a utilitarian spirituality. It works for a while - but there is so much more. I also know because my job now is to help those who are tapped out from living as canals learn to let their souls be filled with Love before loving others. The first command to Love Him must precede the second. Coming to Him simply because you know He delights in being with you is a radically different way to have the proverbial traditional "quiet time" (which ironically is rarely quiet).

Learning to enjoy Him for Him - that is how one becomes a reservoir. Coming to hear what He has to say (vs. me telling Him, "this is what I want, how I want it and when I want it by") or even to say nothing - enjoying a wordless being-together - is the way we deepen both our prayer lives as well as our intimacy with God. It is the only way I can give of myself without loss to myself.


Do you know God beyond what you can do for Him or what He can do for you?

The best posture for such is open handed receptivity. No pretense, no demands. Letting go of any agendas, excuses and expectations - the One who knows you and loves you knows how to meet the deepest and neediest parts of your soul. Let God dictate in love how He wants to deal with you. (Psalm 119:124)

Try this today:

• Take a few deep breaths and as you exhale, say, "Thank you."

• Set a timer for 10 minutes. The purpose isn't to restrict you to 10 minutes, but to allow you the freedom to focus on God vs. wondering, "Is my 10 minutes up?" Do not journal anything during these 10 minutes. And try to not even say anything (verbally or in your head). Whatever happens, sit in the 10 minutes with God - without agenda, without verbal requests or intercessions. Let Him take the lead - even if that lead is silence.

• If you are distracted during that time, use a phrase such as, "Abba I belong to you" to re-center you towards the Lord. If a person comes to mind, you might just say, "God, I lift him/her to you. You know his/her needs" and return to refocusing on God.

• After the 10 minutes A) Take a few more minutes to journal what happened in that time. Were you distracted? Did the time seem long or short? Did you want to continue beyond the alarm? Did you sense God saying anything to you? Did God make you aware of anything about Himself or yourself? B) Journal how you felt about your interaction with God (e.g. How did you feel about sitting with God without an agenda or prayer requests?) How did this time open your heart to trust His love?

• During this time avoid making principled statements about God or yourself (e.g. God wants all Christians to...) Instead, pay attention to what He is inviting you toward.

• Close by taking a couple more deep breaths and again saying "Thank you."
  

I'd love to hear how it goes for and I'd highly suggest you grab a buddy or two to covenant together to do and discuss these 10 minute listening exercises. Help each other delve into listening more and talking less - discus how God is using the times to open your heart toward His love.

If you want to delve into some of Bernard of Clairvaux's writings on love click here. (They can be a bit dense, but they are classic.)

www.paulagamble.com

Starved for Mystery...intimacy...rest...quiet...

"We are a very busy, wordy and heady faith tradition.
Yet we are desperate to find ways
to open ourselves to our God
who is, in the end,
beyond all of our human constructs and human agendas.
With all of our emphasis on theology and Word, cognition and service
- and as important as these are -
we are starved for mystery,
to know this God as the One who is totally Other
and to experience reverence in his presence.
We are starved for intimacy,
to see and feel and know God in the very cells of our being.
We are starved for rest,
to know God beyond what we can do for him.
We are starved for quiet,
to hear the sound of sheer silence that is the presence of God himself."

(Ruth Haley Barton, Invitation to Solitude and Silence, 21)

Sit quietly with the Lord today and ask him, "Lord, what am I most starved for?" Listen for His invitations toward himself and his love.

www.paulagamble.com

Backsliding or invitation to more?

I just spent the past 10 days with a whole lot of really great people - people who have invested their lives in vocational ministry as church planters, campus ministers, and lovers of God and people. But I also had a half dozen conversations with these seasoned folks who felt like God had "disappeared" from them. In an effort to try to get God to come closer each person described how he/she prayed more, memorized more scripture and even fasted. None of these are bad things, but I was saddened that these dear people were trying to lure God out of hiding with their righteous deeds.

As I listened to this over and over again, I was able to share with them a larger vision of spiritual maturity - our goal is not to merely be organized, efficient and dutiful disciples; Our goal is to be lovers - letting ourselves be loved by Him and letting that well up and out toward others. (Think first and second greatest commands - all about love). Many of the great saints that have preceded us (Teresa of Avila, John of the Cross, Bernard of Clairvaux) actually speak of this awkward latter season of faith. It is a time where there is a deep inward draw toward intimacy with God, but also sometimes a seeming absence of Him. Thomas Dubay, a modern day Jesuit, has said that some of greatest spiritual growth is often discerned as backsliding. And indeed, these people felt like they were backsliding and had to come up with a horrendous self-effort to get back into God's graces.

Does that strike anyone else as odd? (This working really hard to get into God's graces which are unearned and generous gifts?)

Our longing for more is the best thing about us - perhaps the most sure thing about us. It is God drawing us into greater heights, depths, widths and breadths of His love that surpasses our understanding. This is the most wondrously precarious journey of faith we can be on.

Take courage friends - God is with us always, a neighbor to your fears and longings and unafraid.

www.paulagamble.com