Daily Lenten Emails from CRM

If you're interested in receiving daily Lent emails from Church Resource Ministries (the parent ministry I'm a part of) go to www.crmleaders.org/lent and sign up anytime between Feb 25 and April 12th.

Peace and Good
~paula

www.paulagamble.com

Avoidance Strategies

In the same way that I do not prefer to "remember" morbid thoughts like my finitude and the atrocious and brutal death of Jesus, I find that the disciples were disconnected whenever Jesus invited them to consider his impending betrayal, beatings and death. They, like me, don't want to dwell on such ugliness. Let's just get to the good part - the resurrection! The disciples did not have the luxury we have of knowing the end of the story.

Look at their avoidance strategies:

Peter's Rebuke of Jesus - (Don't talk like that....)
In Mark 8:31 Jesus begins to tell his disciples about his suffering to come. Mark 8:32 - "As Jesus talked about this openly...Peter took him aside and began to reprimand him for saying such things." Of course, and in Peter's Jewish mind, the promised Messiah would never suffer (Peter had just declared Jesus as Messiah in Mark 8:29) Jesus' response to Peter, "You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God's."

After this is the transfiguration - so how in the world would Peter, James and John ever believe that Jesus would be betrayed, suffer and die? But on the way down the mountain again, Jesus brings it up. They don't know what to do with it. Thankfully, (saved by the crowd in crisis) they encounter an argument and commotion about a man whose son was unable to be healed by the disciples. Jesus heals him and they move on through Galilee. But at least they didn't have to engage with Jesus' suffering. Well, not for long because...

He brings up his suffering again. "They didn't understand...and were afraid to ask what he meant." (Mark 9:32) And in fact, as they walked along they didn't even give a thought to this suffering that Jesus kept bringing up. Instead, they changed the subject and began arguing about who would be the greatest. Again, they are completely disconnected from this impending harsh reality...afraid to ask Jesus in the same way I feel stymied in asking questions to my friends who are suffering. "Let's change the subject...and talk about greatness." Talking about suffering makes me too uncomfortable.

In chapter 10 - they are now on their way to Jerusalem - setting out on Jesus' final "mission" - to be betrayed, suffer and die on a cross. Again he brings up his suffering (Mark 10:32) and again, the two brothers, James and John, completely disregarding Jesus' words about betrayal, death and suffering, come up to Jesus and ask Jesus a favor: to sit on either side of Jesus when he sits on his glorious throne.

Focusing in on Jesus' suffering and death is more important than we know. We can be accused of being morbid for "He is Risen!" But what if we didn't know the end of the story - like the disciples? Most likely we would avoid asking Jesus more about it - we'd change the subject to talk about who would be the greatest, or ask God to do us favors, or even try to focus on more positive aspects of Jesus' life.

But focusing on his death makes me have to focus on the reason he had to die.
Me.
Me and my finitude.
Me and my imperfections.
Me and my hurriedness.
Me and my pride.
Me who would rather avoid thinking about suffering and find a million other ways to anesthetize delving into it.
Me and my propensity to protect and hoard and store up treasure here on earth.
Me who is often rebellious - but in oh so subtle ways.
Me who would rather ask God for favors in order to avoid thinking about Jesus' death.

Oh my dear sisters and brothers - if we do not feel deep sorrow for our sins, we will never fully understand the thoroughness of His liberating forgiveness. Lent is the season that calls us to sit in the fullness of what we'd rather avoid. And, perhaps what we'll discover is this: She who has been forgiven much, loves much - more on that to come.

www.paulagamble.com

Ash Wednesday - an invitation to embrace our finitude

You'd think that growing up in the Episcopal church I would have understood Ash Wednesday by now. I am coming to appreciate what went unnoticed then. As Father Tony said on Wednesday night in his homily, Ash Wednesday is an invitation to remind us of our "creatureliness."

Put another way - we are invited to "embrace our finitude."
We have limited capacity,
we are imperfect,
we cannot do it all.

Maybe I understand this better now because I am in "mid-life" and realize my finitude and creatureliness now more than ever. And the crazy thing is that I was irritable much of this week because of this very finitude that I am now being invited to embrace. Irritable because I couldn't do it all, and others and myself were expecting me to do it all. How freeing to embrace my limited capacity today, to slow, linger, take deeper breaths and be okay with not finishing my to-do list that was completely unrealistic in the first place.

Walter Wangerin Junior, in his brilliant Lenten devotional echoes this sentiment of Lent calling us to remember our finiteness and death. He writes, "That sounds old in a modern ear, doesn't it? Fusty, irrelevant, and positively medieval! Why should I think about death [and my finiteness and limitations] when all the world cries out 'Life' and 'Live' [and you can do it all!]...didn't Jesus promise an abundant life?" (22). We don't want to be bothered by such "morbidity."

There is an excellent meditative prayer exercise at metamorpha.com on this very topic of embracing our finitude. (That's where I stole the phrase from). Here is the meditation, in part, below:

Spend 20 minutes acknowledging your finite nature.

• God has created me with limitations.

  • I cannot grant everyone’s wishes.

  • I will have to depend upon others to accomplish certain tasks.

  • I have limited knowledge and am prone to forget things that I have learned.

  • I will frequently not accomplish all the goals I have set before myself in a day, week, year, etc.?

• What is my reaction to experiencing my limitations?

  • Do I attempt to make a new plan to ensure I will prevail?

  • Do I attempt to move on to something else that I know I can succeed at?

  • Do I fabricate an answer to a question in order to maintain the appearance that I am all-knowing?

  • Do I simply give up?

• What is the driving emotion behind these reactions?

  • Do I experience deep anger, fear or sadness when I am faced with my limitations?

So perhaps you can join me over this season - acknowledge your inability to do it all and live in the freedom that brings.

Peace and good to you

www.paulagamble.com

A fresh attempt at lingering - I bought a dining table

I bought a dining table yesterday - for 13 years in my condo I've only sat at the kitchen counter to eat meals. The same counter where I sort piles of mail, and laundry and groceries. It is the largest flat surface in my house so it typically has some sort of "mess" on it - mosaics, bills, ingredients for my next meal etc. It is far too often a stopping ground for all the things I'll get to "soon." So, when (if) I "sit" to eat, it has been typically on a stool and looking at whatever the current piles of papers or groceries or things to do is. Not very relaxing.


So in an effort to be more intentional in lingering at mealtimes (as opposed to my typical routine of spending 20-30 minutes creating an amazing dinner and taking 5 minutes - sometimes even still standing - to wolf it down), I splurged. I went to the mecca of good, reasonably priced furniture, Ikea, and bought a table where no other messes will be allowed to gather. One where already I have felt the normal temptations to keep going at a breakneck speed and multitask during mealtimes, halted. I can look out my windows at the birds. I can relax and be fully present to every taste and texture. I never thought a dining table would help me cultivate a more worshipful attitude in my day. Go figure - the holiness of the ordinary.

www.paulagamble.com

Practicing the art of lingering

It's a snow day - and it completely renders my desire to do any work as unpalatable. So, I decided that today I would practice sauntering, lingering and frolicking. There is an edge of "guilt" to this - sometimes a fuzzy line between my lingering and laziness. Perhaps on this quest to become proficient as a "lingerer" I will have to unlearn the cultural admonitions regarding always working hard (and constant) to produce, amass, and feel accomplished. Who defines that anyway? So an unguilting needs to take place - I imagine it will come with practice.

Being a lingerer in a world full of bustling festinaters feels awkward - there is both internal and external friction to lingering - a contrariety between what is considered and expected as the "norm" of our work days and what we were originally created for. I bet Adam and Eve did a lot of sauntering, lingering and frolicking with God in the garden. Introduce sin - introduce guilt and blaming and hiding and rushing and agitation.

I imagine heaven being a place of sauntering, lingering and frolicking - that's why it feels so pertinent to practice it here. How can I integrate these three verbs into this day? Perhaps it's just as easy as choosing a "guilt-free" half hour on my schedule dedicated to nothing in particular except that which presents itself. Start by sauntering, which often leads to lingering, which often leads to a heart-full frolic (which in Latin (or old German?) means to rejoice/exult!) And one should never feel guilty doing something that leads to rejoicing right?

If Sauntering and Lingering and Frolicking lead to rejoicing - and we are to "Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say Rejoice" - then natural reverse logic says, "Saunter in the Lord always, and again I say saunter. Linger in the Lord always, and again I say linger. Frolic in the Lord always and again I say, frolic."

I know - probably too much liberty with that Biblical admonition. But how often I hear people say, "How am I supposed to choose joy? Do I just recite happy Bible verse until they sink in?" Well - perhaps. But what if rejoicing had little to do with words, indeed, what if rejoicing happens wordlessly as we saunter, linger, admire (Latin ad = near or towards; mirari = to wonder) and respond with a capriolic frolic.

Finding it hard to rejoice?
Slow down to a saunter.
Lean into linger.
Find time to frolic -
and somewhere along the way, you will find yourself rejoicing!

Three Verbs I want more of in my life...

Sauntering - Lingering - Frolicking. None of these seem to coincide with North American modernity which most people complain of but never do anything about. I even found out that June 19th is world Sauntering day - how cool is that? I can't wait! But I don't just want one day a year! So I am learning - to saunter, to linger, to frolic. In these things I find great delight.

Thoreau on "Walking"

So I discovered that Thoreau wrote a book on walking - yes, walking. I couldn't believe it as I have come to realize that I think sometimes the best thing I do to contribute to this world and becoming a better human comes from me walking in the woods.

He writes, "I have met but one or two persons in the course of my life who understood the art of walking, that is...who had a genius, so to speak for SAUNTERING."

He then goes on to explain that the word saunter derived from the middle ages - people who were wandering on their way to the Holy Land (Sainte Terre) and were thus nick-named "sainte-terrer" or Holy-Lander.

I, indeed, do find walking in the woods a holy activity - Thoreau says that the secret of successful sauntering could also come from the interpretation of "sans terre" meaning "without land" - as in "having no particular home, but [being] equally at home everywhere."

"No wealth can buy the requisite leisure, freedom, and independence which are the capital in this profession [of walking]. It comes only by the grace of God. It requires a direct dispensation from heaven to become a walker."

So - as I head out into the woods today, I will remember how wonderfully holy it is - and reap the capital rewards (not to be confused with the credit card) of this profession. Thanks Henry David - I like your style!

www.paulagamble.com