Let nothing disturb you,
nothing surprise you,
all things pass;
God does not change.
Patience wins everything;
whoever holds onto God
lacks nothing;
God alone is enough.
My friend Cheryl, who lost her phone to a terrible autoflushing incident at OMSI, sent me this picture :) I wonder if she had coffee before doing this?
My cousin's kid took this picture at a recent family reunion.
NLT of Psalm 125:4 “God is good to those who are good: to those who are in tune with you.” Think of that…those who are good in this passage are those who are in tune with God. (other versions say “upright in heart” or “hearts are right.”) I was thinking of some accountability relationships I’ve shared in the past – the questions were always, “Did you do x, y, or z or abstain from x, y, and z?” How dreadful they seem even in memory! What a kinder, gentler accountability when I don’t measure my or others’ goodness on behavior alone. Instead, there is this “in-sync-ness” of being in tune – of being with – of being near. And it is hard to be in tune with someone you don’t know or love or trust. I am grateful, today, that I sense this being in tune – even though I experienced a strong resistance of will in prayer this morning. I was yet with Him, and it was okay.
Seeking God experiences or insights turns us into spiritual utilitarians – we use and exploit disciplines and sermons and songs to gain a treasure – most likely one we will try to impart to others through our methodologies and marketing. If God chooses to give an insight or consolation – it can only be received, not gained. And in my undeserved state, He opens my heart to believe that I am loved, I do belong, which also gives me permission to appreciate and enjoy the gifts for themselves – not as something to mass produce. God is capable of wooing all 6 billion people on this planet without my help, though He may gift me with the privilege to do so. I dwarf my life when I meet God merely to get insight for my upcoming ministry tasks and responsibilities: O Lord have mercy on me – unmask my illusion that I am indispensible.
I was talking with a young woman this week who was asking for my help in consulting her ministry leadership team. On and on I went - touting my experience and how I could help. What I really felt was that I needed to learn from her - she and her young contemporaries are starting a non-profit ministry to prostitutes. Now that is far more impressive than my blah, blah, blah.
Nouwen writes about how our abiding with Christ in wordless adoration helps “unmask the illusion of busyness, usefulness, and indispensability. It is a way of being empty and useless in the presence of God and of proclaiming our basic belief that all is grace and nothing is simply the result of hard work." Similarly, Evelyn Underhill says that adoration does a "disentangling" work. I have so much disentangling and unmasking to receive.
I have been taught to be indispensable because the sound of being dispensable (unnecessary, not needed, can be done away with) isn’t so appealing to my flesh. But it is not mine to choose – this being dispensable or indispensable. It is mine to choose to be obedient and the fruit of obedience is not even mine to choose (John 15:8, 16). This unselfing is good – it is what I long for. Here’s to the ongoing disentangling of my "self."
and rose again to forgive my sins, into my life - the power went out. I wasn't surprised at all, actually, and think I even laughed under my breath, "So this is how the enemy is going to try to interfere. Sorry, Light of the World - time for you to shine!"
The day after arriving in Chennai, I had my first opportunity to teach at the 2 day women's conference. It was interesting - the conference was supposed to start at 9:30 a.m. ...I was not even brought to the church until around 11:15. Evidently the crowds were not large enough yet...and they wanted more women to come before they let me teach.
"You can spend your days either trying to achieve a life,
or you can spend them receiving a life.
If you make achieving life you goal,
your constant companion will be complaint,
because you will never achieve enough.
But if you make receiving life your goal,
your constant companion will be gratitude."
I’ve been reading M. Craig Barnes book, Searching for Home: Spirituality for Restless Souls. Barnes is one of my favorite authors – great thought provoking prose.
Last night I was reading a chapter on our “nomadic” society – Barnes does an excellent job tracing the history of “settlers,” “exiles” and “nomads” and how all three groups have viewed home, life, heaven and God.
In describing the nomad, who worships the “search” for life, more than the giver of life or the destiny, Barnes says that only peoples’ experiences along with the plurality of externally imposed identities, define them. This of course leads to confusion and more unsettled wandering. They consume jobs, people, and goods in search of finding and defining themselves and respond to a tyranny of the quest for more extreme experiences as well as all to the voices that voraciously compete demand their time, money and resources.
A forlorn chaos is the result. In the midst of it all, the contemporary postmodern cultural voices “are trying to make this sadness, ‘cool’” (p. 59). Barnes says that NY Times essayist, Michiko Kakutani has called it “designer despair.” It’s hip to be sad.
I have to ask, “Isn’t the emerging church doing the same thing?” By constantly focusing on our brokenness, we almost worship our deficiencies (and the experiences that have caused them) more than the God who redeems and heals them. I would almost say, it has become “vogue” to be broken – to talk about it, sing about it, write about it, and live in it. I’ve done that: “If God is close to the brokenhearted, then maybe I’ll stay there so that at least he’s near.” How co-dependent is that?
Why do we never seem to get beyond our brokenness to victory? Why do we never seem to find the spirit of “power, love and self-discipline,” not to mention the power of the resurrection. (Are we afraid of looking like the “scary Christian TV” guys and gals…probably…)
It’s almost like we enjoy dawdling in this theology of brokenness. With an Eeyore view of life, our ongoing failures and failed attempts to follow Jesus, seem more justified. We have less to be ashamed of because, “We’re all broken.” Yes, and then we pat each other on the back extending a hand of “grace.” In AA they don’t just sit there and say, “We’re all drunks” and pat each other on the back, drink their stale coffee, and go home. Saying “we’re all drunks” or “I have been abused” is a step toward healing – but too often, in the church, we stop there.
Furthermore, being “authentic” in our brokenness seems to be worshiped in many churches. I hear all the time that an authentic community is what this generation wants – it’s their attempt to create a space (like Phoebe, Monica, Rachel, Ross, Joey and Chandler did on the TV show, Friends) that is the closest copy of what heaven on earth might be like. I’m not knocking authentic community, it’s an awesome place of rest and hope. But it is meant to instill a far more compelling vision of God as the Author and Perfector of our faith and meaning of life. Apart from Him we have no good thing – we are no good thing – we return to “dust” and stay there. But with Him – and He with us - that is our greatest asset.
When brokenness is vogue and authentic community is the highest goal, our churches become impotent. Yes, the Bible is riddled with broken, imperfect people whom God used. Neither brokenness, nor admitting our brokenness, is bad. But a “designer despair” that loiters on the fringes in order to define our identity, rather than acknowledging the redeemed belovedness of the core, has us moping around with our hands in our pockets, kicking stones, looking for handouts or some menial entertainment because we are so incredibly bored.
Kudos to the church being real – full of tattooed, pierced and coffee toting congregants. Kudos to honesty – that allows us to not feel pressured to fake our piety and pretend to be more spiritual than we are. But if we don’t soon broaden our vision to include the Redeemer and the new life he bestows, our emerging churches will only become one more stop on the nomadic journey toward home. We aren’t fully satisfied to stay in brokenness, so we move to something, somewhere, or someone else (or some other self-constructed theology) in order to construct a more compelling validation of our broken existence.
Broken yes.
Don’t stop there.
Redeemed. Cracked pots – jars of clay, restored, renewed, with new life and resurrection power. Why am I not hearing this?
As most of you know, I lived and did missions work for a year in E. Asia 12 years ago. Before returning last week, it had been 11 years since I’d been back. Without going into a lot of detail, I’d say that my year there was one of the hardest in my life…though I always so pleasantly tried to be “nice” and “spiritual” in describing it: “Yes, it was hard…but it could have been worse…and God’s grace was sufficient…”
When I left the city I was in, we had lost most of our contact with the nationals we were working with – due to some governmental regulations some people, including the very few handful of disciples we had, were afraid to be connected with us, the “foreign devils.” Out of fear they stopped visiting. Another young man accused us of brainwashing his girlfriend…she had “disappeared” and so I never got to say goodbye to one of my dearest national friends – at that time only one of three nationals in the country who was working full time with us. Half our team was sent home mid year and the rest of us didn’t finish strong – we limped as best we could to a very anti-climactic ending of a thorny year.
When I left, I thought, “What a wasteland.” Like Nathaniel who decried, “Nothing good can come from Nazareth!” I thought the same of my city. I’ve spent many years pondering what good “my” year there did and pretty much had written off the place and the experience.
But God…
You’d think after 17 years of doing this, I’d realize that it isn’t just about my ministry and me. It isn’t just me who is going overseas to minister. Almost every time, because of God’s generosity and kindness, I feel like I am the one who gets most ministered to. And prayerfully, in the midst, he glorifies himself through humbling and lavishing me with His goodness.
Besides being among a group of stellar people last week, one of the things I learned was that the city I was in – that desert wasteland, that nothing of a place – was now the top city in the nation in raising up full time national workers for the ministry in country. Yup – you read that right. The place I thought that nothing good would come from, is now the place that has seen abundant fruit in the harvest in that land. Twelve years ago the country had only a handful of national workers…one of which my team “lost.” Now…there are several hundred…some of which are now traveling beyond the borders of their own country with the good news of the gospel!
It is hard to describe what hearing that did to my spirit. Actually, there were (and still are) a lot of tears of wonder and awe. I can only say that I think God wanted me to go on this trip to E. Asia far less to minister to the long term single women there…and far more because he wanted to bring healing to my heart. He wanted to show me that my STINT there, 12 years ago – which felt a waste, which was difficult, painful and has never made sense to me – had a far greater purpose. One gal told me, “You were a pioneer there – you paved the way for what is now happening. So many of our national staff point back to when their foreign teachers helped them to know more.” Even now writing that brings tears to my eyes.
But God…
He is the One who is Lord of the harvest. Completely apart from my efforts…I was faithful to go, faithful to cling to him in the midst of a tender year, not being present to see nor reap the seeds we had sown.
But God…
He is the one who can redeem and heal even the worst of difficult and senseless years/decades
But God…
Who does wonders in the least likely of places…born of a virgin, in a barn, and raised in a sketchy town like Nazareth…our Savior seems to have a specialty in bringing life where we least expect it.
Thank you for being a part of a monumental week of healing to my heart through your financial generosity, your prayers and encouragement. Seems God has been doing a lot of healing from difficult years this spring and I’m so grateful. Please pray that I’d continue to lean in to Him, to hear His heart and direction for my life, and for the courage to continue following Him. He IS the way…
But God…
He is good – all the time – even when all around you looks and feels like a wasteland.
On Saturday I was reading Hannah’s prayer in 1 sam 2…and the phrase that stuck out to me was: “It is not by strength that one prevails” So I meditated on what that meant for my life – how did it connect and what was Jesus inviting me to do?
Looked up a couple other cross references…one of which was in Zechariah about not despising the day of small beginnings. So I sensed the Lord saying to me, “Don’t despise what does not seem “mighty” or “influential.” You look at other ministries with envy…you wish you had started them…you wish you had an influential ministry that you started…but your ministry is not about size – not about your gifts and strengths – not about being “run” in a typical modern methodology and strategy.
Your invitation is to go in the strength you have – as I send you out this summer. Don’t force your ministry.
The introduction to Zechariah (in the Message) says this about Zechariah’s ministry (my paraphrase): “Zech’s job was to help pull people out of preoccupation with self and to get them working together as the people of God. The people had lost their identity as the people of God, the people had been kicked around and abused by world powers – the threat was they’d lose the richness of their heritage – forgetting who and whose they were. Zechariah reinvigorated their imaginations with his visions and messages – the visions provided images of a sovereign God…the messages forged a fresh vocabulary that gave energy and credibility to the long term purposes being worked out in their lives.”
Reinvigorated their imaginations…don’t you like that? It’s like Zech was the prophet to the postmoderns who “no longer had a language for God & the purposes of God.” Our current language of “God” is so muddled by tolerance and the mushy, fickle language of Clintonian postmodernism (It depends upon what the definition of "is" is.)
God’s invitation – to reinvigorate the imaginations of His people…
Praying God’ll give me fresh vocabulary to lend energy and credibility and clarity (as Eugene Peterson says) to people who are forgetting who and whose they are.
I’m being invited to die to my pride that wants the applause of humankind….to not force a “bigger & better” ministry or influence…I’m being invited to pay attention.
Whew – good stuff….
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