Unhurryup!™ into Easter #20

Lean into God's love, centering your attention and focus toward Him.

At the beginning of Jesus' ministry, he heard his Father's words:

"You are my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased."
(Mark 1:11) 

 Sit for 5 minutes repeating, "Jesus, you are the beloved..."
Every time your thoughts get distracted, come back to center your soul with this phrase - adoring him, turning your attention to him.

Evaluate honestly how you are as you come into His presence.

Several places in the Bible also tell us that we are God's beloved children (Rom 8: 15-17; 1 Jn 3:1) and that nothing can separate us from His love (Rom 8:38-39).

So, for the next five minutes, gently repeat the truth: "Jesus, I am your beloved son/daughter..."

Pay attention to any internal, cynical "yea, but's" that you make: "Yea, but, I really haven't...I should...I'm not sure...if only I was more...." etc.
 
For each "yea, but..." whisper, "I am Your beloved, and nothing that I feel in this moment can separate me from your love."

Take note of how you are able to embrace or how you resist this truth. What happened as your perception of yourself encountered God's perception of you?

Notice what stirs your soul as you interact with the following:

Read Proverbs 16:9

"The heart of a man plans his ways,

but the Lord establishes his steps."  

Last night I called my mom to check in and see how her day had gone. And some of the first words out of her mouth were, "D@3!mit Paula, you screwed up my whole day!"

Shocked, I wondered, "How did I do that seeing as we were a good 60 plus miles apart from one another!?" She recounted how she had read the morning devotional (Unhurryup!™ into Easter #19) and decided to tackle a shelf in the house full of memorabilia from her dear mother. She didn't plan on spending the whole day immersed in memories...she didn't plan on not getting to the other things that she was hoping to accomplish...she didn't plan to have the emotions that flooded in, both wondrous and painful in the reliving. Old sermons of my great-grandfather's, family history, treasures from her mom who was an avid and beautiful lover of God and family!

Somedays are like this. We don't plan on getting distracted and detoured while digressing to what we thought might only take a few moments of our day. Things happen, life happens, interruptions happen, a lifetime of memories of a beautiful relationship with one whom we love, yet dearly miss, happens. Our facade of control is so easily shattered.

Naturally the day felt "screwed up!" But in a deep, resonate space, my mom was given an abiding gift by her detour yesterday. Who's to say, really, that this day was screwed up? What is the measure? If it was love (1 Corinthians 13:1-3), I think there was no clanging cymbal or noisy gong as a result of her time spent lingering with part of her journey. She loved well, letting her heart encounter a pile of papers and trinkets and memories and feelings that took her on a journey of love. It was more than she bargained for...but it seems to me, that is what we all really want. But then when it happens, and takes us by surprise, and is uncontrollable and feels like it screws up our days and our emotions and our plans...

I find the ongoing tension (and sometimes outright pain) of struggle between accomplishing and receiving life both infuriating and invigorating. I could hear the two co-mingling like a dna double helix in my mom's retelling of her day. Sometimes those paradoxes are the marks of true love. 

What have been your detours? Might somewhere, in the midst, you find a treasure? Open your heart. Open your eyes. Take a deep breath. Look for the gift the Lord wants to give in the midst of the tension of doing and being.

As you read this, what in your own life did it stir up in you?
Take 3-5 minutes revisiting the past 24-48 hours: What has been an "infuriating, yet invigorating" task (whether a detour or not) as of late? As you think about this circumstance, pay attention to your body...are you tense? Relaxed? Laughing? Feeling tension in your neck?
Now, breathe deeply and ask God, "In what ways have you been trying to reveal your love to me?"

Trust Him to open your heart toward fully receiving and living into His love.

As you leave this space, ask God to help you receive even what feels like a distraction, detour or digression as a gift of His love.

Amen.

 

For more info about reFresh - go to www.mysoulrefresh.com

Unhurryup!™

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All written material unless otherwise noted copyrighted 2011 Paula Gamble.

Unhurryup!™ into Easter #19

Lean into God's love, centering your attention and focus toward Him.

Find a quiet, comfortable space.

Take three deep breaths - 

On inhale say, "Not my will"

On exhale say, "but yours be done." 

Evaluate honestly how you are as you come into His presence.

As you come to be with God in these moments, take heed of how you feel. Are you eager, tired, distracted, joyful, full of doubt, dry? 
Believing that He welcomes and loves you just as you are, not as you think you should be,
present your "just as I am" self honestly before God: 

"Here I am Lord...no pretense...no demands...

open my heart to trust Your love."
 

Notice what stirs your soul as you interact with the following:

As we move through Lent, we are moving toward the Passover ... the time when the Israelites were delivered from the oppression of Egypt as the angel of the Lord "passed over" their doors, marked with the precious blood of a sacrificed lamb. They were commanded to celebrate in each succeeding generation to remember the strong and generous hand of God on their behalf. It is during the Passover feast celebration that Jesus has his "last supper" with his disciples...where he prepares to be the sacrificial lamb for the sins of the world.

One of the preparations for Passover is to remove all the leaven (yeast) from the household (Ex 12:15). To this day a Jewish woman will scour and search to rid the house of any chametz (products containing yeast). By the time the Feast of Unleavened bread arrives, all leaven (often symbolic for sin) has been swept out of the household. Perhaps they were the progenitors of the first spring cleaning.

As we move through Lent - what needs tidying up in your home? And not just your physical residence - but the "home" in which God abides. Jesus, during that last supper with his beloved disciples, says: “I’ve loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. If you keep my commands, you’ll remain intimately at home in my love. That’s what I’ve done—kept my Father’s commands and made myself at home in his love." (John 15: 9-10 - the Message)

Pick one "cluttered" area of your home to pay attention to this week: A junk drawer, a closet, the things piled on top of your piano. Prayerfully begin interacting with each item... Lord, what does this say about me? About You? Open my heart to pay attention to Your invitations toward making myself at home in Your love.

As you interact with your clutter: What unnerves or ignites you? 
Is there anything difficult to throw/put away? What does this reveal to you about yourself?
Is there anything that brings back a memory? 

Stop and ask God to help you connect that to your current life needs/circumstances.

Then take 3-5 minutes in silence to listen to any invitations He might have re: the clutter in your own soul. What might you like to say to God in response?

Trust Him to open your heart toward fully receiving and living into His love.

As you leave this space, ask God to make you aware of the clutter that He might want to invite you to rid yourself and your home of. Each morning pray, "Lord, help me remember your sacrifice for me - show me what clutters my remembrance of and responsiveness to your love."

 

For more info about reFresh - go to www.mysoulrefresh.com

Unhurryup!™

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All written material unless otherwise noted copyrighted 2011 Paula Gamble.

Unhurryup!™ into Easter #18

Lean into God's love, centering your attention and focus toward Him.

Think of a recent "stress" - it might be vocational, relational, financial, personal, medical etc...

Clench your hands as if you're holding onto that stress. As you tighten your fists, pay attention to where you feel the stress in your body. Is it manifesting somewhere besides your fists?

Notice your breathing - as you think about this stress, what parts of your body "tighten" - does your heart beat faster?

Now, take a few minutes and imagine God walking toward you. What is He inviting you to do with your burden?

Take a few deep breaths and as you exhale, slowly release your hands:

"Lord, I consent to your love and care today."

Evaluate honestly how you are as you come into His presence.

As you imagine God coming toward you and as you release your grip on your burdens, what else are you feeling? How would you describe to Him your "just-as-I-am" self? Take a moment, and without any pretense or masks or candy coating, tell God how you feel. Maybe even consider expressing it bodily (i.e. do you feel happy - get up and dance a little jig; are you angry? Slam your fist into a pillow. etc)

Notice what stirs your soul as you interact with the following:

As a deer longs for flowing streams,

so my soul longs for you, O God

Psalm 42:1

Here is a little meditation from Henri Nouwen in Renewed for Life Lenten devotional.

"Have you ever tried to spend a whole hour doing nothing but listening to the voice that dwells deep in your heart? When there is no radio to listen to, no TV to watch, no book to read, no person to talk to, no project to finish, no phone call to make, how does that make you feel? 

Often it does no more than make us so aware of how much there is still to do that we haven't done yet that we decide to leave the fearful silence and get back to work! it is not easy to enter into the silence to reach beyond the many boisterous and demanding voices of our world and to discover there the small intimate voice saying: "You are my Beloved Child, on you my favor rests." 

Still, if we dare to embrace our solitude and befriend our silence, we will come to know that voice. I do not want to suggest to you that one day you will hear that voice with your bodily ears. I am not speaking about a hallucinatory voice, but about a voice that can be heard by the ear of faith, the ear of the inner heart.'

As you consider being in silence for an hour - what feelings come to mind. Journal about this - what hopes, fears, questions come to your heart as you think about being in silence?

If God were to whisper to you, "I love you" would you notice? 

How do you sense God declaring His love for you in your daily life?What is a way God is inviting you to create snippets of silence in your day?

Take 3-5 minutes in silence to listen to what He might be inviting you toward.

Trust Him to open your heart toward fully receiving and living into His love.

As you leave this space, ask God for the grace to both create and remain in snippets of silence in your day. Each time you want to turn on the TV for background noise, or the radio in the car, (etc) ...try silence instead. Anytime a distraction to do something enters in, pray the following:

"Here I am Lord...come and quiet me with Your Love..." (Zeph. 3.17

Want some facilitated, extended time in silence? Consider coming on a day reFresh out at the lovely DreamGiver's Inn - next one is April 12th.

To order Henri Nouwen's Lenten devotional Show me the Way click on the here

 

For more info about reFresh - go to www.mysoulrefresh.com

Unhurryup!™

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All written material unless otherwise noted copyrighted 2011 Paula Gamble.

Unhurryup!™ into Easter #17

Lean into God's love, centering your attention and focus toward Him.

Light a candle to echo your heart prayer: 

"God of light, please shine in the darkness."

Take a few deep breaths and listen to the sound the candle makes...
Ask the Lord to fill you with a gentle, steady light.

Evaluate honestly how you are as you come into His presence.

As you come to be with God in these moments, take heed of what feels noisy in your life/world?
Is it internal, or external?
What part of your life is noisily demanding your attention? (Is it vocational noise? relational noise? conscience noise? financial noise? busyness noise? health noise? etc)


How do you feel about that "noisy" part of your life?


Take a few breaths and pray...

"Here I am Lord...come and quiet me with Your Love..." (Zeph. 3.17)

Notice what stirs your soul as you interact with the following:

I went to the woods this week – it is a place where my soul is deeply restored. I feel grounded the minute I step into the urban forests around Portland – I love the sensation of a rich store of oxygen filling my lungs. The barren wintery landscape is starting to fill out with small budding sprouts…there is hope…new life, growth, expectation.

After crossing an old stone bridge, I stopped to watch some birds flitting from branch to branch, in a flirtatious chase, picking up lichen, calling out a melodious chicka-dee-dee-dee. They made me smile and utter a supressed giggle. Contemplating these frolickers, I realized I could not distinguish if they were working, loving or playing. And in an instant I longed to echo their manner of living.

But how?

Am I to merely “balance” my life by getting work, relationships and leisure in proper priorities? Do I just reorder my schedule? Well, that doesn’t actually solve the core of my issue because an off-kiltered schedule always betrays an off-kiltered heart. Merely reordering schedules and lifestyle, fundamentally, starts at a heart level, not a calendar level.

Augustine said that everyone has a spirituality that can be defined in an ordis amoris – a way of ordering loves. Our spirituality, and the meaning of our lives, comes not so much by what we believe, but how we order our loves and how we integrate love into all that we do. It is accepting our frailty, offering our time, our wallets and our relationships to creation and our fellow creatures in ways that promote love that moves us toward this integration. It requires an intentional cooperation with One greater than us, and letting the soulrest that results from that synchronicity flow into our spending, our scheduling, our loving.

I go to the woods, like Thoreau, “to live life deliberately…and to put to rout all that [is] not life and not when I… come to die discover that I [have] not lived.” It takes intentionality. It takes paying attention at a heart level, not just a calendar level. Really living is a life where work, love and play are more and more indistinguishable and unfrenzied. I’d like that.

Original post here

What stands out to you or connects to your heart/circumstances?
What does your schedule "betray" about the true condition of your heart?
Ask God, "Lord, what do you want me to pay attention to here?"




Take 3-5 minutes in silence to listen to what He might be inviting you toward.

Trust Him to open your heart toward fully receiving and living into His love.

As you leave this space, ask God for the grace to have His heart bring your own heart more into kilter. 
In any frenzied moment of your day, 
pray that God would reveal to you how to integrate work, love and play.

 

For more info about reFresh - go to www.mysoulrefresh.com

Unhurryup!™

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All written material unless otherwise noted copyrighted 2011 Paula Gamble.

Unhurryup!™ into Easter - Sabbath day

Lent is 40 days not including Sundays...Welcome to the third Sunday in Lent.

It’s useless to rise early and go to bed late, 

and work your worried fingers to the bone. 

Don’t you know he enjoys giving rest to those he loves?

Psalm 127:2 - the Message

So each Sunday - enjoy worshiping with your local community of faith. Enjoy a leisurely meal with a neighbor, enjoy a day of not spending any money (i.e. no running around doing errands, buying groceries etc - just use what you have), turn off or restrict the TV, call a friend and ask them to share what is occupying their heart these days, anonymously give a gift card or donation to someone you know in need.
 
Enjoy a reFreshing Sabbath!

 

For more info about reFresh - go to www.mysoulrefresh.com

Unhurryup!™

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All written material unless otherwise noted copyrighted 2011 Paula Gamble.

Unhurryup!™ into Easter #16

"[S]he who hurries 
delays the things of God”
 St. Vincent DePaul

So, we've come to the third Saturday in Lent - will it be a day of catch-up? Will it be a day for projects? In what ways might you, this day, cooperate with God vs. delay the things of God?

Today - rather than a devotional thought for Lent, consider "acting" upon some truth God has revealed to you so far this week:

• What has being honest with yourself about your emotions revealed to you about you? About God? Share this with one person you trust.
• What has your restlessness revealed to you about your intentionality - in what ways is the Lord inviting you to cooperate with Him in His work?
• Express bodily how you are feeling. Are you angry? Go chop some wood! Are you joyful? Crank up a family favorite and have a dance in your living room together? Are you sad? Ask someone you love to hold you.
• Start a family list of all the ways in which you have seen God's goodness and faithfulness. Perhaps each morning at breakfast, or at dinner, or before bed, share your "sightings" of God. Record them and revisit them when you feel like you are struggling.
• For what have you scolded yourself or others this week? How is God welcoming you to life without scolding yourself. Pick one activity that feels extravagant and participate in it freely and fully by yourself or with others without condemnation!
• What is something that you are impatient waiting for? Practice praying Mary's prayer: "I am the Lord's servant, may it be to me as you have said" each time you sense that impatience.

 Enjoy - and I'd love to hear how God prompts you toward action...please post a comment!

 

For more info about reFresh - go to www.mysoulrefresh.com

Unhurryup!™

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All written material unless otherwise noted copyrighted 2011 Paula Gamble.

Unhurryup!™ into Easter #15 - A tribute to Mary

We interrupt this normal "flow" of the unhurried journey to Easter to talk about Mary, the mother of Jesus. For today is March 25th, 9 months before December 25th. It is the day to celebrate Mary being overshadowed by the Holy Spirit...of Mary hearing an invitation that would take nine months to unfold...and a lifetime to live into.

Lean into God's love, centering your attention and focus toward Him.

Sit in a comfortable position and breathe deeply. 

As you inhale pray, "I am the Lord's servant"

As you exhale pray, "May it be to me as you have said."

Evaluate honestly how you are as you come into His presence.

Believing that He welcomes and loves you just as you are, not as you think you should be,

present your "just as I am" self honestly before God: 

"Lord, I believe, help my unbelief."

Notice what stirs your soul as you interact with the following:


Take a 10-12 minute listen to this reflection on Mary here. 

Trust Him to open your heart toward fully receiving and living into His love.

 As you leave this space, speak to God about how it feels to wait....to be invited to something outside of your "box" or to risk believing something difficult. Entrust to him any hopes/fears you have as you sense His invitations to wait. Throughout the day pray, "I am the Lord's servant, may it be to me as you have said." or "I believe, help my unbelief."

 

For more info about reFresh - go to www.mysoulrefresh.com

Unhurryup!™

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All written material unless otherwise noted copyrighted 2011 Paula Gamble.

Unhurryup!™ into Easter #14

How have you been able to sense God welcoming you over the last 24 hours? 

In what ways has this opened your heart to trust His love?

 

Lean into God's love, centering your attention and focus toward Him.

Find a quiet, comfortable space.

Take a clear glass of water...

swirl it a few times, set it down and watch it settle. 

As you do, pray God would settle your own soul.

If any distractions (to-do's, people, etc) come, simply utter, 

"Lord, settle my soul" 

and refocus.

Once you feel more settled, move on.

Evaluate honestly how you are as you come into His presence.

As you come to be with God in these moments, take heed of how you feel.

With what is your heart most preoccupied?

Quietly lift this preoccupation into His hands and pray:

"Help me to be open to what you want to reveal to me today 
about your real self and about my real self."

Notice what stirs your soul as you interact with the following:

What do you want me to do for you? Jesus asked him.

 
         Teacher, the blind man answered,
         I want to see again.

         Go, Jesus told him,
         your faith has made you well.

   At once he was able to see and followed Jesus on the road.

Mark 10: 51-52

So much of my prayer life has been me coming to Jesus telling him what I want, when I want it, who I want it with and where I think it would be best. Some days I'm so busy "talking" that I cannot even perceive his question...much less know how to answer.

What do you want me to do for you?

you
Me?
for you 
for me? I can pray for me - not just Aunt Bertha and the people of Japan and...?
to do for you
Oh, Lord, you do so much already...really...I...uh...
What do you want
Want? Uh...I suppose you mean besides new clothes and a cabin in the gorge. I know I want wisdom to know how to answer this question.
 
Instantly I feel "stuck" in knowing how to answer because I want to answer it the "right" way...instead of paying attention to the deepest longings of my heart. And that I find it difficult to know how to answer, makes me wonder how distracted and noisy is my life that I cannot be in touch with my own heart to know, deep down, what I really want? Or what is it I believe to be true about myself or about God that I don't really feel I have the permission to answer how I really feel. Surely if I was blind or had cancer or needed food for my children I would know what to ask. But how do I "impose" on God who is already really busy taking care of hurting people in Japan, Haiti, North Africa and inner-city Portland? 


The more I journey with Jesus, the more I think this question is quintessential. 


At the core of my heart - where am I restless? Discontented? Dissatisfied?
In what ways do I need to "see" from what a harassed and helpless pace of life is blinding me?
Why can I not be honest with God about what I want?


Really, I do not need to answer these questions as much as sit with Him and ask Him,

• Lord, where am I restless? What does that say about my deeper longings?
• Lord, what do you want me to see?
• Lord, what am I afraid of that is blocking my heart in being honest?

Take 3-5 minutes in silence to listen as you ask these questions.

Trust Him to open your heart toward fully receiving and living into His love.

Take note of how you feel after interacting with God over this question. 
Did you like the exercise or did it make you frustrated? 
How do you want to respond to God as you leave this space?
Ask God for the grace and courage to offer your heart completely to Him, moment by moment over the next 24 hours. Each morning when you rise, ask God, 
"Show me how to trust you with my wants." 

Amen.

 

For more info about reFresh - go to www.mysoulrefresh.com

Unhurryup!™

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All written material unless otherwise noted copyrighted 2011 Paula Gamble.

Unhurryup!™ into Easter #13

Lean into God's love, centering your attention and focus toward Him.

Grab a blanket or shawl and wrap it around your shoulders.
Imagine this is God's love, enfolding you.
Sit, or walk, pulling the blanket tighter.
Pay attention to how you feel as you sense His presence around you.

Take a few deep breaths and as you exhale, 
"Lord, your love surrounds me."

Write down one word or short phrase of how you feel as you come to this time.

Evaluate honestly how you are as you come into His presence.

In many of the Psalms, the writer is overcome with praise at God's amazing work. Then, in an instant, he is filled with anger, hatred, loathing, fretfulness, questioning. "How long, O Lord, how Long?" Do you have any seeming contradictory thoughts and feelings today? Frustration and Gratitude? Overwhelmed, yet secure? How do you feel as you honestly open your heart to God today?

Notice what stirs your soul as you interact with the following:

Read Mark 10: 48-50

⁴⁸ Many of the people scolded him and told him to be quiet. But he shouted even more loudly,
         Son of David, have mercy on me! ⁴⁹ Jesus stopped and said,
         Call him.
   So they called the blind man.
         Cheer up! they said.
         Get up, he is calling you.
 ⁵⁰ So he threw off his cloak, jumped up, and came to Jesus.

(From the Good News Translation)

Every time I read this, I try to imagine someone starting to shout like this during a church service. What would the ushers do? How would you and I respond? Would the church service stop and listen, or just move forward on agenda while discreetly "dealing" with the disturbance?

Unlike the crowd, who scolded the beggar for his impropriety in shouting loudly for mercy, Jesus stops. He notices. 

He distinguishes the cry of this one blind beggar in the din and bustle of a frenzied throng. 

Jesus stops. 

He notices. 

He does not scold. 

He welcomes. 

He invites 

He offers a choice - "call him to come to me." 

Blind Bart has a choice. He doesn't have to jump up. He could stay in the status quo of his life ... he knows how to maintain that. But something within him has stirred and he wants to pursue the "something more." How would he live after encountering Jesus? Fact is, he didn't really know. But the not knowing did not keep him from enthusiastically throwing off his outer garment, jumping up and coming to Jesus. There is no "proper" decorum to this man. There is, typically, no proper decorum for any person desperate and longing for more, for change, for healing. Manners don't seem as important to Jesus as they do to us.

In the Greek, the word for "jumped up" is not to dissimilar from the word for "rising again" or resurrecting. Bart was "caused" to rise up - compelled by the One who stopped, who welcomed, who gave him a choice to respond.

Imagine yourself in the scene - how it sounds, feels, the taste of dust kicking up from the mob of people,  how it feels to be shushed. 
Now, you sense Jesus stopping, noticing and inviting you. What is your first reaction?
Do you go toward Him? Why or why not?
Take 3-5 minutes in silence to listen to what He might want to say to you.

Trust Him to open your heart toward fully receiving and living into His love.

How did you experience God in this exercise? What is your sense of His invitations for you?
Do you feel differently than how you came into this time? How so? or not?
How do you want to respond?


As you leave this space, ask God to help you to eagerly attend to his invitations over the next 24 hours.

Amen.

 

For more info about reFresh - go to www.mysoulrefresh.com

Unhurryup!™

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All written material unless otherwise noted copyrighted 2011 Paula Gamble.

Unhurryup!™ into Easter #12

 
Lean into God's love, centering your attention and focus toward Him.

Find a quiet, comfortable space.

Take three deep breaths - 

On inhale say, "Not my will"

On exhale say, "but yours be done." 

Evaluate honestly how you are as you come into His presence.

As you come to be with God in these moments, take heed of how you feel.
Are you eager, tired, distracted, joyful, full of doubt, dry? 
Believing that He welcomes and loves you just as you are, not as you think you should be,
present your "just as I am" self honestly before God: 

"Here I am Lord...no pretense...no demands...

open my heart to trust Your love."
 

Notice what stirs your soul as you interact with the following:

⁴⁶ They came to Jericho, and as Jesus was leaving with his disciples and a large crowd, a blind beggar named Bartimaeus son of Timaeus was sitting by the road. 

⁴⁷ When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout,
         Jesus! Son of David! Have mercy on me!

 ⁴⁸ Many of the people scolded him and told him to be quiet. 

But he shouted even more loudly,
         Son of David, have mercy on me!

(Mark 10:46-48 - Good News Translation)

I am struggling with the value of my days - wondering if what I do is actually productive and meaningful. I have a dozen friends who wonder the same as they fold laundry, push papers, make to-do lists they cannot manage, listen to others' latest fashion finds while standing in the church foyer, and scurry kids across town for violin lessons. I am so easily jaded by North American cultural norms that value things like busyness, productivity, efficiency and being accomplished. These norms make me restless with my ordinary days - I should get busy and do something more notorious, more exciting. Most days are neither notorious nor exciting.

The context of my 21st century life drives one kind of desperation...to manifest my own destiny and "make" something of my life. Yet within the depths of my own heart another desperation is pulsing - to be drawn beyond the pathologically overextended and self-absorbed norms of the world. Yet in my own morbid introspection in the push and pull between these various longings, I feel scolded by an innate sense of not being useful, effective or in control, and a little bit stuck and ordinary.

Scolded - that was the word that stood out in this morning's passage on Blind Bart - he was scolded for being desperate - for wanting. He knew what he wanted - he knew who could help him. His exhibition of need via verbal exclamation was quickly and very firmly "shushed." Well, an attempt was made to shush him - it didn't work so well.

My greatest scolding comes from within and seems to "shush" me far too easily:

• "I should know better by now." 
• "Why can't I practice what I preach?"
• "When will I get this - my identity is not in what I do or how effective, capable or recognized I am. My identity is in being chosen, wanted, loved as I am, not as I think I should be."

And in an instant - my longings for more, for Mystery, for healing get swallowed up by the scolding. Unlike Blind Bart, I don't scream more loudly toward God: "Son of David, have mercy on me!" I succumb to the "shushing", and let my longings get immersed in a frenzy of proprieties.

Why is it such a struggle to receive this - to integrate my value as the beloved of God into my daily living so that I stop my compulsive striving for significance? Am I gaining a covert gratification from all this introspection? Am I too afraid to live healed? How can I be free - live loved and without so much energy being sucked out by my fears? Why is His call to be with Him (Mark 3:13) not enough?

Just stating my struggle and relentless questions has lightened me a little. Perhaps Deep has called out to deep and assured me at a level of which I am unaware. But now I can eek out a quiet, " I want to see too!" It might blossom to shouting some day. But today, Lord, I want the courage to live boldly and unashamedly in Your Presence - freely desperate for your healing despite these dratted internal and external scoldings I endure day to day - sometimes minute by minute

. 

Oh Lord, how will this manifest out into an equally restless and scolded world that also needs your healing? Every person I encounter today feels scolded for some way they are struggling to be smarter, thinner, faster, deeper. In short, scolded for their struggle to uncover their true and free self. Help me not to "shush" the longings - theirs or mine. I cannot help others unless you free me from my own scolding voices.

As you consider these words: What word or phrase stands out to unnerve or ignite you? 
In what ways do you scold yourself? Others?
What longings for freedom are underneath?

Then take 3-5 minutes in silence to listen to what He might want to say to you.
What might you like to say to God in response.

Trust Him to open your heart toward fully receiving and living into His love.

Did you sense God inviting you to open your heart (even your desperate, question-filled heart) to Him? How did you feel as you considered your own heart longings as well as your scoldings?

As you leave this space, ask God to make you aware of the ways 

over the next 24 hours that He might want to invite you away from scolding yourself and instead, to "return" to Him with all your heart, perhaps even shouting, "Son of David, have mercy on me!"

Amen.

 

For more info about reFresh - go to www.mysoulrefresh.com

Unhurryup!™

 If you are enjoying these posts and would like to make a tax-deductible donation toward reFresh ministries, click here

All written material unless otherwise noted copyrighted 2011 Paula Gamble.

Unhurryup!™ into Easter #11

Lean into God's love, centering your attention and focus toward Him.

Think of a recent "stress" - it might be vocational, relational, financial, personal, medical etc...

Clench your hands as if you're holding onto that stress. As you tighten your fists, pay attention to where you feel the stress in your body. Is it manifesting somewhere besides your fists?

Notice your breathing - as you think about this stress, what parts of your body "tighten" - does your heart beat faster?

Now, take a few minutes and imagine God walking toward you. What is He inviting you to do with your burden?

Take a few deep breaths and as you exhale, slowly release your hands:

"Lord, I consent to your love and care today."

Evaluate honestly how you are as you come into His presence.

As you imagine God coming toward you and as you release your grip on your burdens, what else are you feeling? How would you describe to Him your "just-as-I-am" self? Take a moment, and without any pretense or masks or candy coating, tell God how you feel. Maybe even consider expressing it bodily (i.e. do you feel happy - get up and dance a little jig; are you angry? Slam your fist into a pillow. etc)

Notice what stirs your soul as you interact with the following:

As we think back to Ash Wednesday, we are reminded that we are made from dust. We are limited, finite, not supposed to do it all. In this song, we are reminded that God does great things with dust, take a listen.

What words/lyrics stand out to you or connect to your heart/circumstances?
In what ways have you experienced finding life in chaos?
What is beautifully budding in your life, family, heart?
What is a way God is inviting you to share your "beauty" with someone else?

Take 3-5 minutes in silence to listen to what He might be inviting you toward.

Trust Him to open your heart toward fully receiving and living into His love.

As you leave this space, ask God for the grace and courage to see what beautiful things He is doing in and around you.


 “Make me new...make beautiful things out of the dust of my life..."

Amen.

If you want the whole Gungor CD, click here: Beautiful Things

 

For more info about reFresh - go to www.mysoulrefresh.com

Unhurryup!™

 If you are enjoying these posts and would like to make a tax-deductible donation toward reFresh ministries, click here

All written material unless otherwise noted copyrighted 2011 Paula Gamble.